Six Easy Steps to Dyeing Easter Eggs with a Toddler

So, we are continuing our quest to do all the holiday things with Miss B. We already checked off visiting the Easter bunny, an Easter egg hunt, and decorating the Easter tree (it is a real thing, I swear). Next on the list: dyeing Easter eggs with the munchkin. Personally, I can't imagine a more relaxing way to celebrate a holiday then to give a child 18 fragile, potentially Salmonella-laced, smelly eggs with the goal of having her use her excellent dexterity to carefully - and without splashing - dip said eggs in small bowls of stains waiting to happen.

We decided to tackle this on a week night because the hour and a half between RB getting home and B beginning her nightly battle to stay up until 2 going to bed is already way too peaceful and leisurely.

Step 1:

"Gentle, gentle,"
"No." 

Boil the eggs. This was a great debate in our household. RB advocated blowing the eggs out because they last longer. Pre-toddler, I would have agreed. Post-toddler, the thought of handing her blown out eggs that she can easily crush into a million pieces + the added raw eggness of it all ruined that idea for me. So, boiling it was.

I thought that prepping the eggs was definitely an easy part of the process with which B could assist. I thought wrong.

We started with 18 eggs for her to delicately put into a giant vat of water. We ended with 14 successfully making it into the pot. Apparently the cushioning effect of water is negated if the eggs are not so much "dropped" as "hurled with the fury of a thousand toddlers" into the pot.

Step 2:

"I need to knock these all over
NOW! It can't wait!"

Set up the magical cups full of dye without checking the traffic reports or when your husband left work. Assume all is well and of course he will be home on time! This step is optional and should only be followed if you are a complete glutton for punishment or are interested in testing your reflexes through a series of cup grabs.

Nothing is quite as enticing to a small child as something that is brightly colored, can make a mess, or is new. Egg dye cups have all three of these traits and a back up on 85/your husband being stuck on the highway combine for a holiday meltdown of epic proportions. Once you have established that your husband will, in fact, be insanely late and you have already made the idiotic mistake of having everything set up, feel free to spend the next 30 minutes anxiously listening for your husband's car tires while continuously saying "just one more minute, just one more minute." Wine/margaritas are also an optional addition to this step, though a highly recommended one.

Step 2 B:
Feel ridiculously happy when your husband walks in the door. Immediately force him to join in holiday "fun."

Step 3:
Time to get started! Yay holiday memory making! Set your child up with way too many messy things for her to grab and try to teach patience while conducting an art lesson in color combinations.

"No, we don't dip the egg in all the cups - that makes brown."
"No, we shouldn't try to pour all the cups on the doggies."
"No, we don't want to grab all the cups at once." 
"Wait... you have to leave the egg in there longer than 3 seconds for it to get color... okay, or we can just throw it."


"Mom, just let me do this my way already."

Step 4:

OLAF MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER.

Have someone (read: your husband) accidentally hand your child an egg that has not cooled yet.
Picture not shown due to super pitiful faces. 

Allow hands (and tempers) to cool. Comfort toddler with Olaf doll. And maybe let her watch the intro to Frozen five or six times or for what seems like 10 hours straight until tears have stopped and shrieking does not commence at the mere sight of an egg.

Step 5:

Debate nurture vs. nature while your daughter chooses only the pink dye for her eggs. End up quoting Steel Magnolias ("Her colors are blush and bashful!") while your husband rolls his eyes and your daughter continues to chant "Ppppppink. Pppppppppink." Finally let your husband have his own eggs because "all of these look the same and she is not even doing dual colors on any of them!" 

Step 6:
Congratulate yourself on being the greatest parents alive... because memories! Easter! New experiences! Thirteen of 18 eggs survived. Four didn't have ANY cracks. Only one dog has changed color - and really it is less than a quarter of her. Nobody has Salmonella (yet). Call it a success! (And remember to toss those eggs before your dogs can get to them. That clean up is a whole other check list.)

MEMORIES!