Happy Anniversary, Momma and Daddy.

Beckley, West Virginia
4-26-75

Today is my parents' 39th wedding anniversary. I am sure if this were being reviewed for publication or academic purposes, I would be told that first sentence should read "would be their 39th anniversary." I guess grammatically that makes sense; emotionally this anniversary is still very much in the present.

It is present because the truth is, the love didn't die with my mom. My dad still cherishes and loves her. The fruits of the union are still here. The family they built and loved and sacrificed for still continues on, making new memories and doing our best to love one another. 

It is silly to say my parents had a perfect marriage - that there was never strife or moments of sadness. Perfect? No. But strong. And loving. Committed. Passionate. And, even more so in the last years, fun.

It feels somewhat presumptuous to be discussing their marriage - something I was close to but could never fully understand or experience. As their daughter, though, I can certainly relate what I saw of it.

I saw a wife and husband who after 38+ years and countless times apart, still became sad when my dad had to take even one night for a business trip. And I saw a husband who would sometimes drive home, hours on hours, late and exhausted, to be sure he saw his sweetheart that day.

I saw a wife and husband who never gave up on their dreams of a honeymoon, and finally took one in 2010 - 35 years after they were wed.

I saw a wife who loved to do little things for her husband to show her love. Iron a weeks worth of clothes for a business trip. Pick out lined jeans to make sure he stayed warm. Make her youngest daughter bring his favorite pens home from her college bookstore every.single.visit so that he always had more than he could want. Undeniably, her love language was acts of service and she served my dad with a faithful, loving, unselfish spirit. It brought her heart joy to bring joy to his.

I saw a husband who couldn't tell his wife enough how much he loved her. At her 65th birthday party, instead of a long speech, he stood up in front of our dearest friends and family and sang "My love is like a red, red rose." More fitting words could not have been chosen to describe his love for her.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

So deep in love am I :

And I will love thee still, my dear,

Till a’ the seas gang dry. 38th Anniversary in Atlanta, surrounded by their four sweet grandbabies I saw a husband and wife who loved one another's company so much, they worked on loving what the other did. Whether it meant a sappy love story at the movies on Sunday after church or a political meeting on Saturday night, they did it together. I saw a husband and wife who faced challenges, hard, heartbreaking challenges in careers and grief and family issues. And the one constant in it all was that they always went back to one another. Through the toil that life can throw at you, they were there for one another. Maybe not always on the same team at first, but they always ended up a team - a strong unit working together. I saw a husband who embodied unconditional love for one another and a wife who was a walking example of love that is patient and kind. I saw a husband and wife who never stopped dreaming together. As retirement neared for my momma, they dreamed about long, leisurely days in the pool. Travelling together. Taking the grandkids to Disney. Having time to just be with one another and enjoy the closeness. And I saw a husband who fought for his wife. Who prayed selflessly for God's grace - not for what we wanted for my mom, but that in the end she might find some peace and grace - whatever that meant for us. I saw a husband who stood by his wife every second of those last, heartbreaking hours. Who never stopped whispering "I love you." Who never stopped stroking her hand. And whose great, great grief today is only eclipsed by the love he had for her in life. Life isn't a fairytale. It is rough and sad and will break your heart some days. My parents' love, though, was a fairytale in many ways. It wasn't perfect and certainly wasn't all castles and balls. But they slayed their dragons. They defeated their poisoned apples. And they always made sure the prince ended up with the princess. We love you guys. Happy anniversary.