All dressed up and nowhere to go

RB and I used to be awesome at dating. Seriously, awesome. We went to concerts, tried new restaurants, had random day trips, and even ventured out past dark on work nights. Crazy, I know.

While we were engaged, our dating life went from doing to planning. All things at all times were about the wedding. (Note to single friends: the best advice for a happy marriage is a short engagement. Keeps the crazy under wraps.)

Before B: Braves game on a Tuesday night. Settle down, kids.

We decided once a week we would take a break from the absolute insanity and nonstop phone conversations with my momma seating charts and flower arrangements to have a "date night." Granted, most of the nights were spent in pure exhaustion on one of our couches mindlessly watching Grey's Anatomy (still a good show. I stand by that. I don't care how many absolutely insane crises they have. It is all awesome) but we were still together - without texting bridesmaids, or Facebook browsing, or the latest issue of Southern Bride. 

When we got married, we were even MORE awesome at dating. Two full time jobs with no kid? Hello, disposable income. Add in that I wasn't traveling for work anymore, and it was like a whole new world for us (How many of you just started singing the Aladdin soundtrack? Don't lie). Date nights became even more frequent and we loved every minute of it (except when we went to go see CATS. Poor choice, RB, poor choice).

The minute we announced we were expecting B, every single person with a child told us to enjoy our free time. Hit up a Babymoon. Do a midnight movie. You will never have free time again, they said. You will forget what it means to eat dinner without feeding someone else, they said. It was like the scene from Billy Madison where Billy tries to convince all the kids to never leave elementary school. "Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it."

With all the hubris of first time parents, we laughed at this. Of course we will still have weekly date nights. Of course, there will be time to see movies when they are first released, or get dressed up and go out, or have a few cocktails to celebrate the end of a long week.

Fast forward 21 months, and this is the truth:
1. I have been to the movies once since B was born. We saw Acceptance due to my UVA allegiance to Tina Fey. It was a poor choice. And RB fell asleep in the theater.
2. RB saw me in mascara last week and said "WHOA. Your eyes look different. Like how they used to look." Yes, buddy - that is called makeup. No, I don't wear it that often when I am running back and forth to the park or playing Klip Klop Pony for the 1000th time that day.
3. I have forgotten how to parallel park because we have stopped going to downtown restaurants. And, maybe sometimes, I have become so complacent that I now seek out valet only areas just so I don't even have to deal with it.
4. We have had four date nights - just the two of us - since B was born. Once every five months is almost the same as once a week, right?

In our defense, we have tried. There have been plans made and tickets purchased. Babysitters have been booked and even - shockingly - heels picked out. It seems, though, RB and I are still paying for our arrogance in believing we would still be able to do every. single. thing. we wanted.

It seems as if the universe is working against us. Case in point:
1. Our last scheduled date before HRM's arrival.
    Plan: Zac Brown Band Concert
    Actual: Hospital stay thanks to B being a jerk pregnancy dehydration. Nothing quite says romance like an IV drip and a puke bucket.

2. 5 year anniversary
    Plan: Fancy Pants Dinner Number One

One of four post-baby date nights. We ended
up at Toys R Us to buy Christmas gifts.

    Actual: Rescheduled THREE times due to B developing a 24 hour bug within hours of each reservation. I have a pretty strong suspicion that she just knew she was getting left out, and goodness knows nothing can happen without her! After the third attempt, we waved the white flag and halfheartedly, with a large amount of sleep deprivation, mentioned a trip for our 10 year. Right...

3. 2014 Valentine's Day
    Plan: Fancy Pants Dinner Take Two
    Actual: First, our reservation was cancelled through Open Table due to a "bug." As if that wasn't sign enough, after we rescheduled we couldn't drive out and the restaurant was closed because of Atlanta's third ice storm of the year. Since when does Atlanta get THREE ice storms in one year?

4. 2012 First Date Night after B:
    Plan: Dinner and a movie
    Actual: Nothing. Because a TORNADO destroyed the restaurant we were planning on going to that night. That right there should have been the sign that we were forever destined for take out and reruns of The Office.

We keep trying, though, in hopes that we will one day have a meal where we don't have to ask for extra silverware because ours was thrown on the floor. Or for the avocado slices to please come out immediately, like seriously as fast as you can. Or where I don't leave covered in little hand prints of spaghetti sauce or guacamole.

In fact, we are going out tonight. So,I apologize in advance for whatever is about to hit metro Atlanta in order to thwart our plans. Another tornado. Godzilla. Sherman returning to burn the whole place to the ground again (too soon?). Hope your reservations are before ours!